You know that feeling when you're about to be intimate with your partner, but your mind is still running through your to-do list?
Or when you're on a date and anxiety is buzzing through your body, making it hard to actually connect?
In these moments, you're experiencing some degree of dysregulation. Dysregulation is when your nervous system is activated and you're not fully in your body.
And here's the truth: being regulated is what allows us to be available for intimacy.
This is where grounding comes in.
Grounding is a somatic practice that anchors you into the present moment by bringing you back into regulation.
When you're dysregulated—whether from stress, anxiety, or mental overload—your energy scatters. You're not fully present in your body, which means you're not fully available for connection.
Grounding brings you back down. It settles your nervous system so you can actually be present.
A grounding practice can look like:
Lying on the ground or bed and noticing how the surface is holding you. Allow yourself to sink into the support. Feel the weight of gravity on your body as you're held.
Visualizing roots anchored into the Earth, releasing what you no longer need through those roots.
Connecting to your breath and allowing it to get deeper and fuller with each inhale and exhale.
The key is finding what helps you feel anchored and supported in your body.
Grounding is especially helpful:
Before sexy time with your partner — when you notice you're still mentally at work or replaying the day's stresses. Grounding helps you let go of the day and be fully available to your partner.
Before a date — when anxiety creeps into your lower belly and threatens to keep you in your head instead of your body.
After a triggering moment — when you need to settle your nervous system before reconnecting with your partner.
Access a guided grounding practice
When you practice grounding regularly, you develop the capacity to shift from dysregulation to regulation more quickly. You become more available—not just for intimacy with a partner, but for intimacy with yourself and with life itself.
This is the foundation of deeper connection.
Grounding is powerful—but practicing it in real time with support is what creates lasting change.
In Your Dream Intimate Life, my private 1:1 coaching container, we work with these tools together as challenging sensations arise. Real-time practice helps you build the capacity that transforms your relationships.
Ready to experience deeper intimacy? Learn more about working together and apply today.and apply today.
Next in this series: Learn the final somatic tool—containment—for when you struggle to be present because you're holding onto too much.